If a 20-year-old-man is apprehended with €1.8 m worth of Ecstasy in a bag, how long will it take him to escape from Wheatfield? You may presume that said price is street value.
Ruff Wurk
One Ecstasy tablet on the market = €5.
€1, 800, 000 / €5 = 360,000 yokes.
Average mass of pill 1/8 of a gram which is .125g
.125g * 360,000 =... Miss! I need help!
...45k which is 2 bags of Polish coal with 10 packages of Kerrygold on top
Jaysus, Dr. Maroon was right. That's some fucking bag he had.
Optimistic amount of MDMA in pill these days = 30 micrograms
.003 * 360,000 = 1.08kg
Optimistic amount of MDMA in 360,000 pills = 1kg
Amount of tested pills nowadays with no MDMA in at all = 50%+
Optimistic amount of MDMA in 360,000 seized Irish yokes = about 500g
500g:45kg
ratio of 1:90, optimistic level of MDMA
More likely amount of MDMA in 360,000 yokes = .36 kg
- 50% = .18 kg
ratio of .18:45... er...
Er... digressin', that's wha' I'm doin'
Years inside for carrying yokes weighing 2 bags of Polish Coal with 10 pounds of butter on top in one bag despite extremely low level of class As in = 10
Amount of time before 20 year old prisoner will break down walls of Wheatfield prison with super strength and barrel up the road = 10 minutes
Miss, miss! I've finished!
Ruff Wurk
One Ecstasy tablet on the market = €5.
€1, 800, 000 / €5 = 360,000 yokes.
Average mass of pill 1/8 of a gram which is .125g
.125g * 360,000 =... Miss! I need help!
...45k which is 2 bags of Polish coal with 10 packages of Kerrygold on top
Jaysus, Dr. Maroon was right. That's some fucking bag he had.
Optimistic amount of MDMA in pill these days = 30 micrograms
.003 * 360,000 = 1.08kg
Optimistic amount of MDMA in 360,000 pills = 1kg
Amount of tested pills nowadays with no MDMA in at all = 50%+
Optimistic amount of MDMA in 360,000 seized Irish yokes = about 500g
500g:45kg
ratio of 1:90, optimistic level of MDMA
More likely amount of MDMA in 360,000 yokes = .36 kg
- 50% = .18 kg
ratio of .18:45... er...
Er... digressin', that's wha' I'm doin'
Years inside for carrying yokes weighing 2 bags of Polish Coal with 10 pounds of butter on top in one bag despite extremely low level of class As in = 10
Amount of time before 20 year old prisoner will break down walls of Wheatfield prison with super strength and barrel up the road = 10 minutes
Miss, miss! I've finished!
16 comments:
The mind boggles! Another genius post from TSL!
Thank you. I was beginning to think no one had noticed.
Damn the rest of you to Sligo!
We finally reach the point where someone on the Internet posts a joke that is OLDER THAN SHE IS. I'm just glad I was here to see it.
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
Oh dear God -
I liked it, your Ladyship. Really, I did. Now don't send me to Sligo. Please! Being the first born, the very thought of it scares me.
Maths, Chemistry, Social Science and comedy all rolled into one - fuckin brilliant...!!
You MUST have been educated by the nuns...
They will be very proud...
Meh, Sligo might not be that bad.
Blogorrah says it's awful.
And it's full of nuns.
I don't want to go to Chelsea. I mean Sligo.
And just what drugs was the tractor taking? (with apologies to Ben though I should point out that I'm really old)
and why did the farmer win a prize?
I object to your description of speed as Class B. While this may be true in a strictly legal sense, good whizz is Top Class.
It's typical of Celtic Tiger bolloxology that Billy gets sent to the underclass while Charlie, who is effectively just a posh version of Billy, gets to be everybody's friend.
Ugh. Whizz is manky, you pleb. Get with the noughties, why don't you?
I don't get. Why can't we just pop into a local convienience store to buy a pack of smokes, a couple of RedBulls and a few hits of MDMA?
Stupid Gub'mints!
Sligo? Didn't the group Ottowan have a song about there back in the early 80s? S.L.I.G.O.
Anyway, while we're on the subject of shit jokes...
Why was Jesus not born in West Belfast? Couldn't find a virgin and three wise men.
What the fuck is wrong with magic mushrooms? I hate these pampered tiger cubs, who want everything handed to them on a plate. Do like we old people had to. Go out and pick your own fucking drugs.
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