Oh, Paris! She's vapid, she's "hawt", she's constantly engaged in the most uninspired snipery at fellow waste of egg n' sperm, Lindsay Lohan. Bad driving and the folly of youth is most probably what killed Daniel in Gort; Paris Hilton is no stranger to bad driving, because at the moment she's making a fucking living from it.
Anyway, having been sentenced to a gnat's fart in prison for listening to no cunt in the US justice system ("Now, Porous, seeing as you can't get behind the wheel of a car sober enough to drive it responsibly, will you promise to stay the fuck away from vehicular helming for a bit?" Paris: "Vehicular helming? Is that, like, blowjobs on the freeway? It sounds hawt."), Porous was released after three days because doctors worried she was close to having a mental breakdown.
A mental breakdown.
In prison.
I know! I too thought that was the point of putting someone in prison! Y'know, society not being able to trust the dumb fuck not to go cruising merrily around the streets like a ten-year-old in a bumper car heading for the girl he kinda fancies in a strange, hormonal-awakening way and feels the need to wallop into the middle of next week. PUNISHMENT. That's one level of the prison experience. The other level is the whole keeping the rest of society safe from the deviant needing such a rude awakening. Safe, in Porous' case, meaning not flattened to the tarmac like a sunbathing anorexic.
Basically, Ms. Hilton, who as far as I can tell suffers from the worst and most debilitating kind of dumbfuckery, was allowed home from prison because she didn't really like it.
Prison, girls, does not have a nail bar. Human rights abuses or what?
THE WOMAN IS A REPEAT DRINK-DRIVER.
Never mind the fact that after a couple of West Coast Coolers she might plough into and mush some poor cunt who's minding their own business protesting about God Hating Fags or whatever they spend their time doing on the sidewalks in America. Never mind the fact that she'd been asked weally weally nicely by her justice system to stay the fuck away from driving until she got the message that doing so under the influence is something the rest of us are a wee bit wary of. Never mind the fact that countless little wooly-brained tossmachines all over the world hang on this bint's every word ("hawt!") and want to be just like her - thick, rich, thick, and thick. She gets into her secluded, secure, safe cell, gets a bit moany and goes, "Ooh, this is a bit depressing. Gawd!" and the useless, two-tier loving pricks in the prison system let her go home? FUCK OFF, AMERICA. You really are taking the fucking biscuit with this one, dipping it into the dregs of our patience, and vomiting it back into our faces again, aren't you? Thick Rich Teas are so fattening.
I hate this entity Paris Hilton. Hate it. A thingymajiggy about as useful as the broken Swiss Army Knife you bought in the market before Ireland got Aldi; blunt, bent, and cold to the touch. What's the cunt Hilton ever done? Tell me! She's minced around the place being rewarded for being flush and having the intelligence of the unflushed. She has the hooded eyes and waxy visage of a dead serial killer in a fridge. We've even seen what's between the little bitch's legs and it turned out to be stale air. Well, now here's something the cunt has done at last; she's made headlines for teaching a generation of idiots that it's ok to have no respect for or interest in every other sap who's been put on this earth with you because you'll get away with everything, everything, if you're thin enough and famous enough and rich enough. I'd be happy to shoot the twat in the head if I wasn't so sure that all I'd get out of it would be a loud whistling sound, the suction of a released vaccuum and a confused look from the air-ess.
Lastly, for illustrative purposes...
Now look about six inches above your monitor. That's where I'd put Paris Hilton. Slightly above her would be the US Justice system that rewards hawtness and carrying a Bible around for photo ops. I'm sorry, guys. The cuntometer only reflects the level of cuntery in Ireland. I doon' have the powerrr to create one for world-wide purposes.
39 comments:
Fantastic Sweary! I was surprised when I heard that she's been released. She was already given special treatment and a cell of her own. Even with the eyes of the English speaking world following the news of her incarceration(because let's face it, elsewhere nobody really gives a toss!)the American's expose their judicial system for what it is. It reaffirms what we already know - America is an open asylum. The best we can do is turn the other cheek, shut them out, and extract ourselves from their fucked up culture.
Amazed she even served 3 days. The girl from Lost got out after 1, because of over-crowding.
Next question, how much will she make from telling her 'prison saga'?
But her music rawks!
Hawt post! She irritates me, I hate the bitch.
Anyway, she's ugly.
Ah leave poor waste-of-oxygen Paris alone. My problem is with all the dim bitches in US/UK/Ireland who have her as an idol. I cannot understand why don't they don't want to be like someone hot.
Unreal, she didn't like prison, ergo she's let free? Seriously, what system do the very rich abide by?
Ergo, fmc? ERGO?
I read she'd be paid $500k to keep a prison diary! Will she still get this after only 3 days? Ok, I'm sure some editor and 'co-writer' could package enough crappy material to satisfy her adoring public. I can already see the before and after jailbird pics.
Yeah, ergo. And might I add a quick 'zounds' to my earlier sentence.
Cunts, the lot of them.
Hmmmm, Paris Hilton. Well, odd really, but on hearing Paris mentioned its not the city of Monet, Manet, Picasso, the Louvre, the muse d'beau arts, home of the TGV, various Faubourgs some good most hellish, but a mask-faced blond catholic extremely well groomed 26yo woman. A woman who would give Podge & rodge difficulties with their usual Q, about carpeting. Re. matching landing and hall. Hmmmm.
But whats the betting that the family will yank the reins, and we'll see her married and breeding very soon indeed. And to a good wealthy catholic chap. Hilton giving to Loyola Marymount is real, the tax write off would be incidental.
I thought Ergo was a perfect word to relay FMC's conviction and disbelief, seeing as 'er go is exactly what the US authorities allowed. Paris, 'er go, she gone.
*tumbleweed*
Thank you. The whole thing makes me sick. I wonder if they'll let out some poor black kid caught with a joint.
She had people. It's not like she was trying to get to a job she needed in order to survive. She just spat in the face of the law and got away with it.
Martha Stewart is so much better.
Ergo on and fuck off, Sweary. ;p
I shall do so. Ergo-nomically.
There's only one thing more entertaining than a celebrity death, and that's a celebrity imprisonment. Saying that, I am more distraught at Paris Hilton getting out of jail then I was about Kurt Cobain dying.
Oh, it's okay, I just read the news and she has to go back in front of the judge this morning. He will put her back in jail and justice will be done.
I wish I was filthy rich. I really really do.
Simply simply disgraceful, her carry-on....and, yes, if she were black, hispanic, or poor (or poor, period), she'd be cooling her heels in jail a good while longer.
I think jail would do her no end of good....and at least we would be spared seeing her splashed about the pages of the tabloids or on the evening news (she's news?? That's news to me....).
But....she should be in the general population, no cushy private cell.
MaryAnn
Can someone say Anna Nicole Smith. This girl is such a trainwreck.
Can you change that to Californian justice since believe it or not there are a few states with a bit of a legal system. California is responsible for both OJ and Paris though, also Rodney King, The Governator and Hollywood. So really that's the root of all evil. Leave us here in the East Coast alone, we're not so bad.
Here's a good one, supposedly from a laywer, on Craigslist:
Do you have two DUI's in under 7 years?
Have you lose your license because of multiple alcohol or drug convictions?
Looking for someone to represent your interests in front of the Driver's License Appeal Division (DLAD), in order to get you right to drive back?
I can help.
I am an attorney based in Ann Arbor who is experienced in the Driver’s License Appeals process. I have successfully represented and regained the driving privileges of those who have lost their license because of multiple DUI/Drug convictions.
Why pay $1,200 to over $2,500, when I can and will represent you and your interests much less than that.
I am less expensive because I have a private practice and do this on the side.
I offer lower rates because I believe you are entitled to a second chance and you have already paid enough for whatever your crime.
E-mail me @ dui_lawyer_annarbor.com for a free and "obligation free" consultation.
You deserve to be able to drive again and you deserve to do so not at an extraordinary cost to you, you have already paid enough.
AND we want these drivers back on the roads because?!?!?
Only the best lawyers on Craigslist :) Please make your cheque out to Mr. Cash. That's C.A.S.H and he'll get right on the case
Have you never heard the word 'ergo' before, Blarney?
Not sure what all the pulling of hair and gnashing of teeth is about this she was caught driving on a suspended normally that would not mean time ......Im fed up with the amount of people being locked up in this country for minor offenses .... is that what I pay a heap of tax for ? don't get me wrong I can't stand her or her Ilk and unfortunately not living too far from LA you run into these type of cretins from time to time,........Correct me if I'm wrong I don't think they would bang you up in Ireland either for driving while suspened.....
Well, she is back breaking stones for the next 45 days.
Yeap just popped out for some lunch according to NPR she was taken "screaming and crying back to Jail" her problems only start now someone with her high profile on probation for 3 years ......
First of all, this happened in Los Angeles, so please don't lump all of America in with that one city which is SO not a representative for the rest of the country. I think she's a useless moron as well, and you know what? So do the majority of Americans! We all think she's a disgrace! Sure there are a few that think she's cool and want to be like her, but most of those are uneducated white trash eleven year old girls. She's a walking joke and has been for a while. No one takes her seriously. And, like I said, this happened in LA, it was ONE GUY who decided he should let her out, not OUR ENTIRE JUSTICE SYSTEM. And you know what else? She's back in jail, serving more time than she was supposed to, so how is that for an open asylum, eh?
No, no, no. I read it on Wikipedia. All Americans love Paris Hilton and live primarily on Bigmacs.
what does she do again? why do we look at her? media product. no substance. one Scandal after another. when i see her on the news i just think there must be something more worth talking about than this.
Yes I have Twenty, and I find the word highfalutin.
i think amanda brunker and bock the robber should fuck off and elope.they deserve one another.
Are you Bock's ex or something?
Wotch yer bleddy lippy swears or me and youse aint playing out again.
Paris Hilton is an extremely talented amatuer actress i hope to work with when ben dover gets back to me. There is talk of a nuns outfit and cucumber sandwiches, Paris a natural in as ben cranks up the vid and it all kicks off with john leslie and several models from the evening herald. Yes sears, Glenda, Sarah and Dozy Rosey, another very talented young lady, unafraid to flirt with the camera and take radical chances in the artistic topography, an all round pro happy to stand slinky in stephens green or a bog nightclub wiv glends and sars.
Please desist from attacking a very ill person, or i will take out a contract on muttsie. I have an air hose, petrol and matches, any combination of which, when coupled with the 10 yo yo, any self respecting heroin addict of cork will glady chop their grandmas arm off, to see my wish is granted.
I know a man who spoke to bertie ten years ago at a bus stop. I am not unconnected swears.
if they told her it was rehab she wouldnt mind. rehab is soooo hawt right now
I have to agree with Dublindan. Why are we throwing people in jail for driving on a suspended license? She got busted for reckless driving and lost her license for a year. She continued to drive just like 99% of us would do. you don't put people in jail for that.
Paris Hilton is a twit, yes, but she did not deserve to go to jail for a traffic violation!
Yes, what a silly girl that Paris is, when she could have done the same thing in Monaghan and actually killed people without doing ONE day inside!
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