I Wrote Me A Stoopid Song

I know I'm one to talk, but you really all should start blogging. Do you know how many blogs got longlisted for the Irish Blog Awards Best Blog prize? Like, all of them. There's no need to tell anyone that doesn't already know the vast disparity between the numbers on the longlist and the numbers on the shortlist, so the Irish Blog Awards therefore serve a number of purposes: they're a great excuse for a piss-up, you get to feel Twenty's beard, talented types get more than their parking validated, and every Tom, Dick and Desmond can sneak a nod towards their being longlisted into their next telephone conversation with a whinging mother. In short, Irish blogging rocks, so I wrote a song about it. I didn't write the tune though; that was Spandau Ballet.

Thank you for reading, though
I know you’re only doing it for show
You only want a link back, we both know.

But let’s not let cynicism
Create an Irish blogosphere schism
Links and hits, they are our catechism
Oh but it could be more; there’s Blog Awards to score!

Nothing left that Twenty hasn’t said?
No opinion that you haven’t read?

Blog!
Always believe in the slog
You’ve got an outlook to flog
You’re inescapable
Always believe that
You can blog!
That one reader might not be your dog
Be tenacious just like a… warthog
You’re quite unstoppable
Always believe it.

Courting hits will pay off
Comment wildly just like Harney at a trough
People respect you when you won’t fuck off.

And only two months go by
And you’re every blogger’s favourite guy
Without your spammy inbox feed they’d die
Oh but could it be true
That they’re in love with you?

Mulley will announce the voting spree
Your template’s full of bold print “Vote For Meeeeee”

Blog!
To the Alexander you’ll just have to jog
There might even be some free grog
You’re a dead certathon…
Your mam believes it!
Coz that blog
Might be your ticket right out of the bog
Get a Dublin 4 model to “shog”
You’re so publishable
Here comes an agent!

Blogging’s like pissing against the wind
You only get back what you’ve just put iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Blog!
Always believe in the slog
You’ve got an outlook to flog
You’re inescapable
Always believe that
You can blog!
That one reader might not be your dog
Be tenacious just like a… warthog
You’re quite unstoppable
Always believe it.

Seriously, blogging rocks. I missed it as steadily as Enda Kenny misses the point in every argument, as that sniper I hired keeps missing Kerry Katona.

Back to thinking about buying bandwidth, I suppose.