There are demons who leave copies of The Sun scattered around my office, and so sometimes, strung out on coffee and the ire of horrid clients, I take a sconse through it. Last week I read a column extolling the virtues of Luddism by Julie Burchill, who no doubt put it together by scraping a piece of flint across a large slate whilst picking the fleas out of her body hair. Ms. Burchill put it to us that emailing was sad, and Twitter was sadder, and that it's a shame we don't condemn both because she remembered a time when having imaginary friends was something worth society's ridicule.
At the time I thought nothing of it. Who cares about the opinions of some golem who fears The Text? Let her stew happily in reactionary whinging! Only the events of this weekend made me think of the column again, and get slightly, oh so slightly cranky.
We received word via an old friend on Facebook that Swe.Ge's best mate and best man, who lives as a happy cad in London, was in a serious motorcycle accident. Swe.Ge was worried sick; like the Facebook friend who'd only heard the news second hand, we had no way of contacting the Best Man's family to find out more. He'd been a lone wolf as long as we'd known him, and a quick internet search of the English phonebook revealed that his parents' number was unlisted. What to do? Swe.Ge started ringing hospitals and, together with the help of the Facebook friend who managed to hack into Best Man's email and find his Mum's phone number, we eventually found the ICU the Best Man was in. Luckily enough, his dad was on site. Best Man's dad brought us up to speed, and took Swe.Ge's IM and email contact details, which he was doing for all of Best Man's friends, so that he could easily and quickly keep them up-to-date with his progress. Best Man's not out of the woods, but at least we know where he is, and we'll know as soon as he improves. And when more frantic friends tracked us down through Best Man's Facebook page, we were able to give them contact details and an update on his accident.
With all of that to worry about, I posted this comment on Twitter.
"Got some bad news; 1 of our best mates is very ill. Have writing and that to be getting on with, but I feel wretched."
...whereupon I received emails, texts and tweets from my own buds, sending good wishes. The majority of them don't know Best Man, but felt connected enough to me to send him their best. Some of the tweeters are people I've never met, people whose real names I don't know! Imaginary friends!
And this has brought me to the point where I might have to stop myself piercing with an acid-tipped spear the fuckwits who claim that the Information Age, or the rise of Social Networking sites, or the evils of texting instead of popping by for tea, or whatever new-fangled gimmick is eroding the morality of our children, has lead to our being completely dissociated from society and from human contact. If it hadn't been for this great evil internet behemoth not only would we not have been able to keep up with Best Man's latest haircuts (Skype video calls feed the curtain-twitcher in all of us), but when he was injured we would have had no way of knowing about it. We wouldn't have forged a tie between him lying in a hospital and all those strangers on Twitter who paused for the sake of empathy. His dad wouldn't have been able to keep Best Man's friends informed of how he was doing. We'd have been cut off from a friend we love, blind to everything but that which happens right in front of us. And if the Old Testament is right, and information was that which got Eve fecked out on her arse, well then I'm fucking happy to join her. I am human, after all.
The world is smaller now, and we're all giants in it. And while there's plenty of cons to that state of affairs, it's still a reality I'm well fucking thankful for. And if Julie Burchill and her ilk want to slag that off, no, that's not fine. Thank Jaysus for a blog upon which I can rant about their utter fucktardery, eh?
Monday, April 06, 2009
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21 comments:
And here you go again getting yourself nomed for 2010's blogger awards.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but it makes me think. It's probably an idea to have -- in this day and age -- a port of call for emergencies like this. Like listing a relations email on your facebook.
I teach a modern language. Communication, no matter what its form, is vital to all people, everywhere. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an ass.
The Sun.. Julie Burchill.. Imaginary friends.. Pot..Kettle.. Black.
Old friends.. peace of mind.
Few words,but I'm sure you get the picture.
'Twas not information that got Eve dumped out on her arse, it was that she could not do what she was told.
But on the main point I mostly agree with you, except for twitter. That is just fucking pointless.
Mind you I would keep the hacking away from the Ban Garda mate you have, they do not look kindly on it at all. And they do not care if your best man brings a charge or not, on this they can stick in the boot themselves.
I hope he is doing better BTW, I know from the personal exactly how dangerous are those bloody London kerbstones, when coming off a 'bike.
When texting started people said it was pointless. When mobile phones first appeared everyone laughed and said buy, buy, sell, sell. eMail was scorned, as was instant messaging.
I can remember when the telephone, of the landline variety, first appeared on our road, and the naysayers who eventually got their own.
Doubtless letter writing was laughed at as an unnecessary indulgence, and probably the first person to speak was ridiculed for not miming his invitation out of the cave for a smoke.
People who have yet to use a form of communication, truly use it, will find it makes as much sense as morse code in a nightclub, or semaphore at a football match. But when you speak the language you can order your drink a great distance from the bar, and be happily supping away before some people realise the point of it.
Couldn't have said it better myself, Eolai. As is plainly evident.
Good idea from Kevin too. I know there's different network filters on Facebook, but I don't know if there's a specific "Family" one. There is on Bebo. Must have a gawk in a bit.
I find, Vince, that people who say Twitter is pointless are reading too much traditional journo opinions and not actually understanding what a powerful tool it can be. For every inane update there's an "Unfollow" option, after all. Twitter for me is where I get the heads-up on all the latest news (that is actually of some interest to me), updates from my friends on what they're up to or how their projects are progressing, and notification on the topics covered by Irish blogs or interesting web articles others have happenend upon. And all as it happens! For my part I tend to post silly quips and shameless plugs - let's just say I get more out than I put in. As a business tool I'd say Twitter can be extremely powerful if one knows how to use it. And... er... as a self-promotional tool too.
Shite, forgot to say, Vince, by "hack his email" I meant "guessed his password". Not quite as technologically brilliant as an episode of 24, but it got the job done.
Oh, and surely the message of Genesis was that ignorance is bliss, and if you don't agree you're fucked. Stop chasing knowledge you willful cunts!
Alright, back to work I go.
Twitter may become the tool you are on about. And as things are moving fast it may well be very soon indeed. At the moment I will happily remain unconvinced But eolai was on about the mobile phone, which was on inception a tool for tools. It took about ten years from sitting atop a nine volt to useful widespread spectacles testicles wallet and phone, on your way out.
As to the trad'journos opinions, I've long ago found the ability to ignore/delete or read beyond.
And Authority, is the message of Genesis and for that matter the entire old testament, the God as hardass father. The fixation on information is a much newer more Roman and what we've had is an extreme annex to that.
Twitter is 3 years old. It's way past inception and tremendously powerful for personal and business uses as is. If some people only realise that usefulness later on, that doesn't mean it only attains usefulness then.
I wouldn't recommend letter-writing on a roller coaster. Or worse, probably, reading a letter written on roller coaster. But that doesn't mean letter writing doesn't have its uses.
julie burchill eh......writes for the sun eh? used to write for the guardian, now it's the sun eh.....no wonder she is so bitter....
Funny you should post on this today. The second I read about the Italian earthquake this morning I immediately went onto Caro's site (I couldn't remember whether it is Rome or Milan she lives near) to check on her.
We've never met, but that doesn't make the friendship any less.
Poor ole Best Man. :( The chicken curry got dumped by the way, he owes me a good old nosh up when he recovers!
I hate typing with false nails.
Kazzy Wazzy.
I hope Best Man pulls through alright!
You Julie Burchill can definitely get bent. Online friendships are just as important as R/L.
I have been online for over 12 years and through boards, chats, IMs, I met my Irish cousin, my Heart, my various friends that I went to see without worrying they are any less than real people on the other end of the screen.
It freaks my parents that I meet so many people from online. *shrugs*
Sometimes those are the best people ever.
Hope your friend gets better Sweary.
I had just read your post when I saw this story in today's belfast telegraph http://tinyurl.com/dxatbz
Julie Burchill, go fuck yourself.
Are Julie Burchill and John Waters joined at the hip?
Best to the best man.
Well put my darling : )
Jaysus Eamonn, that's something else!
Thanks everyone for your comments, and for your best wishes. Whether Julie Burchill would like to hear it, I have to say it means a lot to me. You invisible people (and Swe.Ge) rock.
I also just remembered my biological father tracked me down using Friends Reunited. Ah, this technology. Great for suturing the mistakes of the past, eh?
Sweary, I hope your friend is doing well. Your post struck a chord with me regarding connections and imaginery friends. I've a child that was born with pretty serious heart problems. Since we lived about 100 miles from our US friends (recently moved) and an ocean away from family we used carepages.com to post updates regarding his progress in the hospital and in his early months. It was, essentially, a password protected blog. We also belonged to a webgroup of parents with kids with the same issues. They also chimed in with messages of advice and support. That site was a godsend. I didn't have to reiterate medical jargon-laden explanations to everyone. I got important info from those who had been there before.
There are useful applications of social networking. The useful application of these outweigh the drivel that you filter through daily. Your story is an instance.
Twitter is used by surgeons (typed in by their assistants obv.)It's used badly by politicians here regarding controversial bills, it's great for a scattered family when one member is doing something exciting.
Ashton twittering Demi's ass is probably of interest to someone , though I can't really figure out who.I digress.
Your imaginery friend,
EashtGalwayWoman
I don't like facebook but you make a good case. I hope your friend is doing well.
I hate facebook because you have no control over the database containing your info. And even if you don't give any info, your contacts can do it for you (which I suppose is really their fault but it's a sneay fucking technique all the same). Since being bought by Google all account names have been indexed to the search engine.
Anyway, at least it was a help to you when you needed it.
Ah feck it, Craic. Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?
EashtGalwayWoman, that's a perfect example of what I mean... the pros outweigh the cons, especially when it comes to toss about how the information age is making us more detached, less human. Internet networking, etc, creates connections when we need them, cheers us with the empathy of people at the other end of the world... We're not alone, in other words. How could someone argue to the contrary after reading your story?
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